Like…why hasn't a publishing company contacted me about writing a book about how to be an awesome mom.
I play board games with them. I don't let them cheat…and I'll even let them lose sometimes.
I never let them wrestle until somebody gets hurt and starts crying.
I let them jump on the bed…but get annoyed at them when the pictures keep coming out blurry.
See….I'm such a fun mom.
I never let them leave the house looking a hot mess (or without being fully clothes). Never.
I teach them to respect property. I never let them hang on the bathroom sink and the make them do it again so I can photograph it.
I only let them each healthy food. I would never give them FROYO at 8 am…never.
I always make sure they are well rested…as to never fall asleep in public.
I never…under any circumstances…drink wine in front of them. I mean…really…what kind of a mother do you think I am?!
See….I told you…I'm the world's greatest mom.
Now…who wants to publish my book?