Have you ever had somebody in your life not like you?
You tried everything to please them, you put everything you had into them; just to come to terms with the fact they don't like you. They probably never will.
This is one of the hardest lessons in life. Not everybody is going to like you.
Now that we've sent Josiah off to school he is going to have to make friends on his own.
He is the one who is going to have to try. It's not playdates anymore. I don't pick his friends for him. He will, at some point, get hurt. Someone will not invite him to their birthday party, or their table at lunch. They might make fun of him; call him names.
As a mother this sends me into a panic. I know what he feels like. There are people in my life who don't like me. I have never really been too bothered by this; but now it hurts. Badly. When you put so much into somebody, just to have them not like who you are.
Oddly enough, a quote from Dita Von Teese keeps coming up.
How truthful is that? You could be the kindest, most honest, grace filled, beautiful, genuine, compassionate, generous woman on the face of the earth and somebody will not like you. Perhaps you will say something to offend them. Or perhaps you'll be late one day. Or they don't like your laugh, or the way your spend money. How you discipline your children, or the movies you like.
Some people won't love you. They will not want to return your calls. They will not want to get to know you better.
This feels as though a fiery dagger is plunged into my soul. It is a hurt like no other. It is completely personal, and it is hard to see it within the big picture.
I know that God is the ruler of my life; there is to be no other than him. He is to be my number one priority. What I have learned is that if I truly put Christ at the top of my priority list, the pain begins to lessen. A little bit more each day. He is all I need.
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Matt 22:37-38He commands us to be focused on walking with him. God alone.
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8Why is it so hard to stay the path? Why is it so easy to become consumed by sadness and guilt. These are the terrorists of my life. Emotions. I hate to be completely engulfed and oppressed with my thoughts. "Woe is me". What a sad state to be stuck in.
How blessed is the one whom You choose and bring near to You To dwell in Your courts. We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, Your holy temple. Psalms 65:4Jesus.
He is my comforter, my provider, and my friend. He loves me. He wants to be close with me.
He is all I need.
If I can come to a place in my life where He is truly my number one priority, it might be possible to teach my children about it. When they come home broken, I can hold them and tell them that I understand their pain. I can tell them of a greater love; a love that only Christ can give.
This is not easy to remember. He created me the way that I am….but that doesn't mean he wants me to stay the way that I am. I am constantly reminded of how far away from Heaven this world is.
Praise Jesus; he will return. Until then, I can get to know him better. For it is only Christ that matters.