Our Journey To Adoption {Why We Chose Adoption}

"So is this your first child?"
"No, he will be our fourth." 
"Oh. Wow." {Insert a look of shock here}

This is the conversation we had over and over again when going through our adoption of Caleb. {You can read more of his story here and here}. I can't blame people for the looks they gave us. We are so young, and so "full" already. Yes, we are crazy. We know it, we're not blind to the fact that four kids is A LOT of kids.
Yes, we can have more children. But we didn't want to have more children.
We wanted to adopt. We were called to adopt.

I have always wanted to adopt. During high school I can even remember thinking that one day I would love to have children through adoption. When I fell in love with James and we began talking about family, adoption was always in the discussion. We have always known one day we would.
Ideally we wanted to have Josiah then adopt. God had very different plans for our family. We got pregnant with Micah when Josiah was only 7 months old. Financially the funds were just not available until now.
I just love that God is supreme. His timing is perfect. Caleb is perfect for us. 5 years ago there would be no Caleb.

There was never a time when James and I felt God pulling on our hearts at the same time. We discussed getting the basement finished first, getting a mini van, waiting until the kids were older. It was not until last November God spoke to both of us at the same moment. "Now."
We were terrified to begin. We knew how people would view us.
Crazy. Financially irresponsible.

They are right. We are crazy, and financially "irresponsible" (by the way.it was never our money to begin with)… God has called us to follow him at all costs. He promised us that if follow his will, he will bless us. He has promised to make the adoption happen. We chose to obey this calling on our lives.
He has come through in bigger ways than I can even express.
Yes, he provided every cent of cost of adoption for us.
The most amazing thing he has provided through this is Caleb.

His parents were broken, needy and hurt. They were not following Christ and yet, through God's redemption Caleb was born perfect.
We look at his sweet, perfect face and see God's grace. His love for us is overwhelming.

If we would have chosen to say "no" when God put this calling in our hearts we would not have reaped all of the blessings that Caleb will bring to our lives. We would have missed out on God's divine plan. I believe that God would have taken care of Caleb, but I also think he would have let another family reap the blessings that were intended for our family.

I know this incredibly wise, and godly woman who gave me this advice one time.
God was asking her to do something she didn't want to do. She asked God "What if I say 'no'." She said God answered with, "I will find somebody who will say yes."
I can't tell you how much this struck me. It stuck to my soul. If we say no, God will make it happen without us. Did I want to be the woman who says "no" to him. No, I sure don't. I want to experience God's plan, purpose, and grace.
I have never understood redemption more than I do at this moment.

If you ever get a chance to read Francis Chan's Crazy Love I highly suggest you read it.
God loves crazy. If we are following God's calling for our lives, people will look at us likes we're nuts. It's then we know we're not of this world. We are in it, but doing our part to change his kingdom forever.
So yes. We're crazy, irresponsible, impulsive, and busy. I've become scatter brained, excessively tired, and unshowered. My house is messy, my kids aren't bathed, and they are currently living off of chicken nuggets and raisins.
We wouldn't have it any other way.
Now we have Caleb. They have a new brother. Forever.
Adoption is worth all costs.