New Beginnings

It's been a dream of mine for so long.

I've always watched designers do their thing and thought "I wish I could do that!"

Well, friends, this girl is going for it!

I'm stepping in out in faith with the support from my amazing husband and beginning a new business.

Meet Bethany Brittenham Interiors.

How did this happen?!

It kind of unfolded unexpectedly, to be honest. But isn't that what this is being Life Unexpected ?!

I was approached by a realtor friend of mine who asked if I was ready to start doing some home staging. At that moment, I said "YES!". Not fully knowing what my "YES!" meant.

It began with dreams of working with home sellers and realtors. Giving consultations on how to better stage your home to have it sell more quickly and for more money. And people pay me for this! What?! Yes! 

This is so fun.

And then, my dream got a little bigger, and a little bigger. 

I wanted to really step outside my comfort zone and actually begin to design for clients. I want to be clear, I'm not calling myself an Interior Designer in an architectural sense (even though this girl still has dreams....one day, Bethany, one day....), but a designer in the interior spacial sense. Dealing with design schematics and designing spaces that fit an individual client. And Decor. The decor is so fun! The frosting on the cake. It's what really personalizes your home. It's what turns a house into a home. 

I've been blown away by God's goodness in all of this. Watching him work in only ways He can. 

Bringing me clients in the most unexpected ways. 

It's also been one of the scariest things for me to do, to put myself out there in confidence and "I can help!"

But with all my doubts and fear I've been reminded that I CAN DO THIS. Other than my children (yes, I'm still homeschooling) this is my new calling. 

I have found what fills me with so much joy. Where work doesn't feel like work. 

So, friends, would you kindly follow me at my new page? 

I'm also on:

Facebook @bethanybrittenhaminteriors

Instagram @bethanybrittenhaminteriors

Pinterest @bethanybrittenhaminteriors

Hey, consistency is key...right? 

Here's to new beginnings. Finding my happy place. And starting my own LLC!

Now, to get to work! 

Healthy Meal Planning on a Budget

Quite a while ago I led a short little class on how my family meal plans and budgets for food. I thought I would jot it down for you here!

I'm throwing this out there right now: We do not eat "perfectly". Yes, we have a well balanced, nutritional diet but,  sometimes I let my kids eat corn dogs, granola bars, and Lucky Charms. 80% of the time we do get it right. Life is about balance, and I'm a big fan of nachos.

Typically I start my weekly meal planning of by writing down exactly what my family will be eating throughout the week. Look at this adorable planner I use! I clip it to the side of the fridge (I'm a "nothing on the front of my refrigerator" kinda gal).

By planning each and every meal I am able to shop for specific items. I'm not buying random things and then letting them spoil. As an added bonus, when my kids are aware of what's on the menu, they are a lot less complaints, and "suggestions" about lunch.

One of my friends shops and plans her meals through the weekly grocery ads. If chicken and pork are on sale, that's what she will plan her menu from. She is really specific about buying fruits and vegetables that are $1 a pound or less and meats that are $2 a pound and under. She will also shop at ethnic markets when looking for something specific. If you need sesame oil, it will be worth a trip to the Asian market.

Our community has an amazing discount store named Esh's, that offers many organic and name brand items at a discounted price. Many of these items are near their expiration date or past them. So be mindful of using them promptly. You can saves loads shopping for produce at a place like this.
I want to take a moment to address expiration dates. The US is one of the most wasteful nations in the world. They throw out far too many foods that have past their "expiration date" but are perfect. One of the items I buy past it's expiration date is yogurt. I have purchased hundreds of yogurts past their dates, and have had 3 that have been sour. So, use your best judgment, but don't alway judge a product by it's date.

One of the easiest places to blow your budget is Costco and Sam's Club. Firstly, you are paying an annual membership fee, which would equal out to be a cart of groceries. Secondly, many of the food items you buy will be thrown out due to spoiling. Yes, buying in bulk can save money. If I don't go into Costco and buy ONLY what is on my list, I've blown it. If you wouldn't be buying chocolate covered almonds at the grocery store, don't buy them at Costco because it's "such a good deal". I do buy paper towels, toilet paper, produce (we eat a lot of produce), Olive and Coconut oil, roasted almonds, chicken nuggets and rice at Costco. But if I start looking at the yoga pants, it's over.

Somebody suggested using your Amazon Prime membership to buy toilet paper, paper towels, and laundry supplies instead of getting them at Costco, Walmart or Target. I love this idea. While it may cost a bit more to order them online, I would save so much more money not walking into the Target dollar section. But, I did find the most adorable mini cake stands so.......there's that....

I try really hard to only shop at my local grocery store. I have downloaded their app and can clip coupons and have them loaded directly onto my loyalty card. They also mail out some paper coupons and I use those as often as possible. I do not cut out coupons from the newspaper, however, I know that's proven to work for people as well. I don't buy groceries at places like Walmart; while their prices might be less, their produce isn't nearly as good and I will usually leave with a beauty blender. Extra.

One of the most important things to me is that I make everything from scratch, at home. I make everything down to their waffles and pancakes (which I freeze for them later), spaghetti sauce, salad dressings, Mac and cheese, biscuits, pie crusts, etc. You can find quick and easy recipes at the click of a button for all things homemade. I never buy pre made and frozen meals from the grocery store. This has been really a really intentional step in how I feed my family. I can control exactly what goes into their mouths and know what the nutritional value of the food. We eat a lot of veggies, 100% whole grain breads and pastas, nuts, and lean meats (aside from chicken thighs, because they are so delicious, chicken breasts are overrated). We strive to eat a well balanced diet, as best as we can. Yes, we have cinnamon rolls, but I made them so I know what's in them.

We buy as many "whole" meats as possible too. When I buy a rotisserie chicken, nothing goes to waste. I use the bones and left  to make bone broth, and will usually use the chicken pieces that were clinging to the bone to make chicken soup, or pot pie. We also are able to buy a 1/2 cow at a time and deep freeze it. This saves so much money on beef. We pay $3 a pound for KC Strip Steaks, not bad.

Want a few of my go-to favorite recipes?

Awesome!

I have a Pinterest board page dedicated to this topic alone!

Follow it HERE!

Hope this has given you hope that you can do it! It takes time and effort, but it's so much better for your family (and your bank account) when the planning has been executed.

Let me know what some of your budget friendly, healthly meals are too!

The Grief of Miscarriage

I  have never had a miscarriage.

This is a statement I don't take flippantly. Statistics will show that 31% of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. That is nearly 1 out of 3 women. Devastating. The loss of a child is never something to be brushed off, or ignored.

It is a life, gone too early. As we see it, they never received the chance to be who God intended them to be. It is not a ball of tissue, randomly placed together inside of a womb. It is a person.

That baby had life.

My sister miscarried their precious baby about a week ago. It is a brutal loss. Any loss of a child is brutal. In a perfect world, babies don't die.

They gave the baby the name Salem Lael (Peace, Belonging to God). Salem lost their sweet little life at just 9 weeks in utero. Rachel, my sister, began to suspect something wasn't right around her 10 week mark. Going in for her ultrasound, they detected no heartbeat. Sweet baby Salem was gone.

Make no mistake, that baby was loved and was created with great purpose. We live in a fallen world where death doesn't play fair, and will take an innocent baby.

Salem leaves a great testimony. My sister labored in the tub and gave birth to a perfectly intact baby. This is rare. This is a miracle to be able to hold a child that small.

Below are a couple of photos of sweet Salem, at just 9 weeks old. This is the beauty of early life.

These photos were taken with my iPhone and I regret not having my camera on hand. I had no idea what I was about to witness.

Meet Salem.

It is a miraculous thing.

You can clearly see their eyes, ears, mouth, arms, legs and a nose.
This is only at 9 weeks. Many women don't even realize they are pregnant at this stage.

Friends, life is precious.
Savor the miracle of life as you hold your littles. 
Comfort those who cannot.

For those of you who have experienced a great loss, I am so sorry.
Your grief is not lost on me.

Ps 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Parenting a Hurting Child

This is one of the most humbling posts I will write.

When we entered the adoption process we were nothing but optimistic and hopeful. We sat in classes on bonding with your new baby and told ourselves we would have no issues bonding with our new baby. After all, we could bond with any new baby! Turns out, we were right about that. We had zero issues when it came to loving Caleb the same way we loved our biological children. It felt exactly the same when we looked into his eyes. In fact, that is one of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing him, my new son, and feeling like I had just given birth to him. The gravity of that isn't lost on me. He was created to be MY son.

However, as time has progressed there is something we took for granted and didn't allow to enter our minds.

Abandonment.

We assumed that because we brought him home from the hospital he would never know the feeling of loss. He had us from the day one. I am his mother, and I would never leave him. How could he ever feel loss?

As a baby, Caleb was a dream.

The softest, sweetest big eyed boy. A perfect baby.
As we approached the "beloved" toddler phase we began to notice a twist.

Tantrums.

Now listen, he's my fourth baby. I've dealt with my fair share of toddler tantrums. But these were different. Like, intense. I don't want to go into graphic details about my child's bad behavior so I'm just going to leave it there. Something was different. Our first initial response was to parent him the exact same way as our others. After all, he's just another one of our babies. Only time was showing that our "go to" style of disciple wasn't cutting it. His tantrums grew as fast as he did. They were beginning to show signs of deep hurt in his heart. A hurt that he is still unable to express properly.

Caleb is extremely intelligent. He has been impressibly verbal since the moment he understood words. His vocabulary is quite extensive for his age. He's four now and is our smartest up to this point. This intelligence has given him a new tactic of hurt; his words. He is the first to say "I don't love you" to me and James. The first time he uttered those words they brought me to tears. The next 30(ish) times brought me to punish him.
He can't say that! Right?? Surely he doesn't mean it! I'm his mom!

We initially began with reading "The Strong Willed Child" .
Yep! That's Caleb to a tee! 
Ok, now that we know he's just strong willed we will never let him win an argument. We will stick to our guns! He will understand he can't behave this way! I will say this about me and James, we parent nearly identically. We are both stubborn and disciplinarians. When we ask you to do something your only response is "Yes sir!". No negotiations. Armed with this new tactic we went to work. But, it wasn't working. In fact, it was making it worse.

As I began to tell my sister (who has adopted 4 kids through the foster system) she would gently tell  me that he just might be broken hearted from the placement of his adoption. I denied these ideas for a solid year.
He's just like my others. He was never hungry, or left alone. He got immense love and affection. He's extremely bonded to our family!
Now, the latter of those thoughts is a really important point I make. He truly is extremely bonded to us. He loves his siblings, and is a complete and total daddy's boy. Like, he REALLY loves his daddy. He loves snuggles, and physical touch, and lots of one-on-one time. He craves attention, and often wanders into our bed in the middle of the night. He really does love us. We are his mom and dad.

Something is still different. Something we are now working to heal. As I began digging into this I learned that oxytocin (the bonding hormone) was pivotal to babies in utero. The lack of oxytocin during pregnancy can potentially cause a child to feel unloved during it's development. A hormone that many birthmothers may not produce during the pregnancy of a child they choose to place. This information began slowly creeping into our hearts and minds. Caleb is a textbook case of feeling abandoned. He naturally wants to try to see if we will leave him as well. He fights the same way an adult does when they have feelings of this nature.
I'll push you away before you can leave me!
The words he chooses to say to us just go to show he is dying to know we will never leave him.
Now that we know his precious heart is aching, we can begin to treat it.

My sister recommended a book called "The Connceted Child".  As James read it we began to realize this is what Caleb needs. He needs an extensive amount of attention and an extra dose (or 12) of patience. One of the best tactics we use to try to deescalate his tantrums (before they get bad) is bubbles. Go figure. These darn bubbles are doing the trick. We will sit in a corner and slowly blow these shiny bubbles. Showing Caleb some breathing tricks, and giving him a way to redirect his emotions.



Yesterday I failed him. I let his words get the better of me and we all ended in tears. I think for the first time I actually believed him. I actually let Satan whisper the lie that, possibly, Caleb doesn't love me. I allowed my emotions to be run by a four year old. We all reaped the consequences of this meltdown. The three other kids were all heartbroken as well. Leaving us all in a pile of tears. It was a scene. The truth is, it's impossible to be perfectly calm and even natured with him, and yesterday I let it get to me.

God has given us the greatest gift ever. Grace. Lots and lots of grace. I have never before understood the redemptive quality of God's goodness, until I gazed into his eyes for the first time.

Caleb is redemption. 
Caleb is the perfect picture of grace. 
Caleb is a gift. 
Caleb will move mountains.

As his parents we have the responsibility to allow him to feel his grief and pain, and to find the tools to overcome them. We have been given the Holy Spirit to guide us. When I stop and listen to the voice of God I am reminded that I am Caleb's greatest tool. That God chose me and James to be his biggest advocate. We are here and will always be here to hear his heart, to listen to his pain, and to remind him that we will never leave or abandon him. Remind him that God has a great purpose for his life.

Caleb is one the the best parts of my life.
I hope that this might encourage other's of you who are struggling with child who has a broken heart.
Remember that you are the best asset in their life.

By the grace of God, I get to hear him call me "Momma" every day.

Family Photos With Show Hope

I'm notoriously bad at doing annual family photos. I would call it more of a biannual thing...

This year we were contacted by Show Hope to participate in a quick photo session. 

Show Hope is an amazing organization founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife to give aid to those who have been called to adopt. We applied for a grant when adopting Caleb, and they gave us a HUGE grant. It was a massive burden lifted from our shoulders. 

They flew in the most amazing photographer, Trisha Locoste, who snapped these amazing images of us within minutes of meeting her. We were floored and blow away with them! 

Amazing right? You would never know that we got ready for these pics in 20, YES, TWENTY minutes.

It's my own fault. We were scheduled for our photo shoot the day before; which we missed. I had put it in my calendar wrong. I woke up to an email from them saying they were sorry to miss us. Guys..... I was devastated. James urged me to call and tell them were were available for anything. We would drive anywhere to be part of this.

I frantically called, begging to have it rescheduled. They were so gracious and told me that they had a cancellation and could have us fill that spot; in one hour. It was a 40 min drive away.

Like a hot mess, everybody was in our master bedroom throwing on clothes and shoes.  Amidst the chaos, I bumped into the ironing board (because, why would I have ironed the night before??). The hot iron fell onto my arm for less than a second, leaving me with third degree burns on my forearm and wrist. I didn't treat it because we were in such a rush. Guys, in these photos my arm is ON FIRE.

The show must go on, right? I ended up having to do my makeup IN THE CAR, while trying to keep my arm underneath the AC vents.

Praise God for his mercies, and for skin regrowth.

Moral of the story, I'm never ironing again.

We will be a family know for embracing life's wrinkles.

Dear Micah

Dear Micah,

You are now 8. But, in all honesty, you have always been much more mature for your age. I credit that to the fact that you are always trying to keep up with Josiah. So really, you are more like a 9 year old.

This year has been so busy for us, and you just roll with it. You are so easy going when it comes to plans and stress. It never seems to bother you. I am so grateful for your easy going spirit. This year you made the choice to become baptized (or bathtized as you called it for a few years). We have been so blessed by that decision and we can't wait to see what Christ has in store for your future!

Buddy, you are by far, one of the most competitive kids we have ever seen. You are so athletic, and strong, but with your ability comes your desire to be at the top. You hate to lose, or even come in second place. You have drive and talent and it pushes you to be the best, at everything. On the field you are a fierce competitor, but in our classroom you strive to challenge yourself to become better. Beat all your old testing times, and get 100% on every worksheet.  And you are so smart. Already nearly completely at a 4th grade level in school. You fly through all of your schoolwork. I have yet to find something that challenges you (other than Spanish). This drive, and this knack for taking things so seriously will get you far in life. We love that you want to do well, to succeed. Just don't let it run your life.

You will fail, you will make mistakes. This is part of life. Don't ever give up. Don't ever walk away when you feel like you won't be the best. Often, it's when we fail that we look up to those who are succeeding, and learn from them. Remember to look up when you're down. Look up to those who do better than you, and learn why. Learn to fail with humility and grace, because when you fail with dignity you will still shine. Learn to congratulate others in their success. A journey to success is alway better surround by others. 

Oh buddy, are you still so protective and loving. You are still my biggest snuggler. If I'm sitting, your looking for a hug. You're love language has always been touch. You snuggle all of your siblings every morning. You can't get close enough to them. I adore this about you. For being so tough and so serious, you love without abandon. You love everybody. You are the kid that walks right up to somebody new and becomes instant friends. You are not shy, and you don't care what others think about you. You are just so friendly. Don't ever change that. Always love recklessly, you are so good at it. 

We are so ridiculously proud of you. We are proud of your strong spirit and will to fight. I am so grateful that God chose me to be your Mom! I love you so much!

Forever and ever,

Mommy

Dear Josiah

Dear Josiah,

You are nearly 10, and you expressed how much you hate your beginning of the year photos that I edit because it always says a your current age, not the age you are most of the school year. Ah, the woes of being a September baby.


Oh son, where do I even begin. You are staring to show such growth and maturity. As we have started this new school year, you have taken on much more responsibility without me even asking you to. You are beginning to think of others before yourself, which is a feat most adults can't do. You are beginning to show signs of maturity that both impress, and scare me. It's reminding me that we are on the back end of our days with you at home.

This year you have showed us a new side of you, a side that wants to be so grown up. You want to be a part of every adult conversation that's going on. You want to know things, hear things, and learn things. You want to know how to cook (you even impressed me with your "no recipe pancakes"). You want to do your own laundry, and you certainly want to stay home alone. You want to do your schoolwork alone, and independently. 

And still, even in your growth and maturity, you prove that you are such a loyal brother and son. You want to be where the action is at in our home. You want to do what what everybody else is doing. Just last night I spied all four of you playing "war", spinning sticks around "fighting bad guy aliens". You led that time for your siblings. You set up that game, like you set up nearly all the games in the house. You lead your siblings in the fun and your imagination is like nothing else. You are so creative, with your stories (Potato Star Wars is my favorite), your games, and your art. Don't ever lose that creativity, it will take you far. 

You have also shown so much growth in your athleticism. This summer we watched you grow as a basketball player when you played your heart out for your competitive team. You rolled your ankle twice in one game, and got back on your feet to give it 110% the next two games. You showed us drive, and passion; a new fire we hadn't seen yet. You have become so willing to improve your game, and you desire to learn from your Dad as he coaches you. Keep up that fire, and that drive. We love it!

You are also an amazing friend. You will jump at any opportunity to play with friends. You are loyal to your core. And one of the qualities I love most about you is that you want to be part of church and the community of believers we have built. You never complain about going to church, or being in childcare for VOX. In fact, you love it. You love to be around the high school kids, play their games, be part of their conversations. We adore this about you. Your friendliness. You are so kind, and thoughtful. You are also hilarious. No wonder your friends love you! You would never leave somebody out. You are so very inclusive, with everybody. 

And most importantly, we have watched your faith and leadership grow as a follower of Christ. You are becoming more bold as a leader. At camp this year your counselor couldn't stop talking about what a leader you were during your Bible times. Offering to pray and read and lead studies. This is where you shine. Your love for Christ and your love for others. You truly are the fire of the Lord. I adore you, my love. 

Forever and ever,

Mommy

Dear Ella

Dear Ella,

You are now 6 years old.

How, exactly, did that happen so quickly? I was snuggling on the couch, with my bald, baby girl, 2 seconds ago. Here you are, standing before us, a gorgeous, sweet, 6 year old. 

Honey, listen....



























You are kind.

You are capable.
You are strong.
You can do ANYTHING.
You are smart.
You are created in the image of an almighty God.
You are beautifully, and wonderfully made.
You can move mountains.

The world will try to stifle you. It will lie to you, and tell you that you are unworthy. It has done this to all of us. When you feel doubt, you ask me how valuable you are, and I will tell you. Open the scriptures, and let it tell you who you are.

This year has been full of changes for our family, and you have handled it with grace and joy. Change doesn't seem to bother you, although you do love a game plan.

You are my helper; my sidekick. Where I am, you want to be. Whatever I'm doing, you want to help. You joyfully offer to do chores. You will scrub a toilet and love every second of it.

You adore Caleb. It's quite a bond. While Josiah and Micah were blessed with a twin-like bond, you and Caleb have an amazing relationship as well. The two of you can't sleep without each other. And Caleb, MUST know where you are AT ALL TIMES.

You get along with everybody (minus some scuffles with Micah). You are eager to make new friends, and adore the ones you already have. And, you love fiercely.

You are so feminine. You love makeup, and dresses, and frills and sparkles. You love to draw, and doodle, and make artwork for all those you know. You love dancing, and twirling, and shaking that booty. You love to play with my hair, you love when I do your's. You want your nails always painted. You love to play dolls, and house. You love being a girl.

You are also athletic. You love sports (most recently, football). You love to race your brothers. You love to jump on the trampoline, and do speed drills with Daddy. You are competitive, and you are fast. You prefer your practical Nike's over your gladiator sandals. You love to play in the dirt, because being dirty doesn't bother you. You love to play games, any game, any time. You just love to keep your body moving. I can hardly keep you on the couch to watch TV.


You have an amazing sense of humor. You and Jo, twinsies. Your laugh is contagious, and your smile is perfection. Your favorite shows, are always humorous. You don't enjoy dramatic, or even remotely suspenseful stories. You want to laugh.

You say you are a "mamma's girl", but I think deep down, you're a daddy's girl. Nobody can make you laugh like he can. You would follow him anywhere, do anything, just to be with him. You love both of us so deeply, and you are so sensitive toward our feelings. Most recently, when I burned my arm, it was you who was bothered the most. You saying, "I can't see it. I don't want to see you hurt."

Oh, Ella, you are such a blessing to our family. How deeply I longed, and prayed for you. My girl. Thank God for you. You are a true gift. I pray that you will continue to love, and sparkle; just as you were created to do.

Forever and ever,

Mommy