Monday, September 15, 2014

Dear Josiah

Dear Josiah,

You started first grade this year. You didn't see me, but I cried when I walked home. I truly miss having you home with me. You are so helpful. You always ask what you can do to help me. I rarely have to remind you to clear your dishes, or make your bed. You will take care of Caleb when I'm making dinner, or doing the dishes. You rush to help when one of your siblings needs help. You are so thoughtful and are always putting others above yourself. You are full of compassion and empathy. The other day, after a long day at school you came home and I was finishing cleaning the playroom (which was a disaster). You offered to help me, insisted you wanted to. I told you not to help me after a long day at school, that you should rest; you persisted. While we were cleaning together I thanked you for your help and told you how grateful I was. You asked me what I did that day and I told you I had been working on the house. You asked me if I did anything for myself (of course you did) and I told him nothing too fun. You burst into tears. You were filled with so much empathy for me. I hugged you and told you that I loved being able to stay at home and work to take care of my family. That working around the house didn't make me sad, it made me feel so lucky. To be a mom is the best job ever.

You are my son. I get to call you mine. You are perfectly, unique and you are my flesh and blood.

You are so tuned into how others feel and what they are thinking. You are full of compassion, empathy, and sensitivity. You feel for others, you want to heal, and fix; and I believe you will. You want to be a pastor. You want the entire world to know about Jesus. You are learning what your 7 year old brain can handle about our Creator. You sit on the couch and talk to daddy about apologetics (it's so crazy, but it's true!). You ask questions like "If God is so powerful why can't he make a rock so big even he can't carry?" and "How can Jesus be God's son if they are one in the same?". Seriously, boy!? You love Jesus, and you told daddy "I need to learn as much about God as I can if I want to be a pastor." I can't believe that I get to be your mom. I feel like with your deep desire to learn more about God, there is a chance that I will let you down. What if I don't know how to lead you in your faith? I could drop the ball…..but praise God for your daddy! He is so knowledgeable and has the same desire as you to learn more about our faith. You two…peas in a pod!

There are things that I worry about for you. I worry about you being in first grade. You are beginning to read, make new friends, and experience new things. You are hearing things that are opposite of God's nature, and they scare you. Kids are telling you scary stories, and they affect your heart and your soul. You are so in tune with the spiritual realm that when things that are evil are exposed to you, you feel it in your heart. I cover you in prayer. I pray that you will speak up for yourself, and begin to share the truth with your classmates. Many of them have never heard about God, and you are the light. You are so smart about our God, but need the courage to speak up. You will get there, with the knowledge that you are building with us at home you will grow in confidence. Son, you will change this world. You are fire of the Lord. At 7 years old you are living up to your life verse:
But you, man of God, flee from all this and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:11
I am so proud of you. Words cannot possibly express how proud of you I am. I get to say I am your mom. There will never be a day in my life when I am not filled with great joy, pride, and love when I think of you. If I only get to be with you full time for 11 more years, I promise to do my best to savor each moment with you. Boy, you're amazing!



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