Thursday, December 1, 2011

I think I blinked

Josiah is in preschool, and Kindergarten registration starts today.
Granted he's not going to K next year, but just knowing he could is killing me.

{This is his new smile...I'm not loving it...but I'll miss it when it's gone}

Micah is growing out of his clothes, and shoes, and looks like a BOY not a toddler.

Ella is army crawling, waving bye bye, and saying "da "da", and giving open mouthed kisses.

When did I blink?

This can't be happening! My babies are growing up so fast!

I feel like I try to savor every moment with my kids, and take a mental picture every time I want to remember a specific thing. But those memories are fading fast. Ella is only 6 months and I can barely remember how she felt in my arms in the hospital.

I feel so conflicted. I think I want another baby.


I know, I feel crazy just thinking it. But I feel like my heart has so much more room for more kids. I'm conflicted because I know I've had three c-sections, and my body struggles through each delivery, but I really want to be pregnant again.

I am conflicted because my Spirit tells me to adopt, but I still want to have more kids (maybe if I have 4, 1 will resemble me and not their father).

I know it's a hormonal change going on right now, but I'm just SO sad that they are growing up so quickly.

I cried myself to sleep the night Ella started to army crawl. I'm a mess. Not just a regular hormonal mess....a big hot mess. I love my babies. This is killing me to watch them grow up!

Is there something we can give them to stunt growth and keep them like this forever (maybe just minus the terrible two attitude).


Heather Sewczak said...

I think you are such an amazing mommy! What a sweet post - and all of us can relate at one time or another. You have such a big heart, and the two of you are raising three amazing kiddos. XOXO!

PS. As they get older, they only go through more SUPER FUN stages! Trust'll miss the baby, but you won't miss the lack of sleep. And you'll love watching their hearts grow & personalities develop. Being a Mommy ROCKS!

Elle said...

i always say i cannot have kids because i will be a hot mess crying at ever milestone. i do with with my niece and shes not even mine. but hey, if you can have three gorgeous kids maybe a hot mess is alright. your babes are precious. and i like his sweet smile :)

Lacee said...

Hi Bethany! New follower here from the blog hop! Thank you so much for joining us :) You blog and your babies are just beautiful!

Drenea said...

hey Bethany,
you barely know me...but I do get to read some of your blogs, and this one touched me:) I am 45 with my youngest being a 6 yo. I just wanted to tell you "I get it". I had a very wise friend (who birthed 5 babies herself), is now 50+--who told me she still has a yearning to have babies. She (at the time) never thought it would go away. I feel the same and think you are normal:)

Jessa said...

Wow. I so hear you on this. I have two little boys and a new baby girl too and they are going to college like tomorrow. How is that possible?

Just keep savoring.

Kendra said...

such a great post. I'm having the hardest time believing my little Evelyn is turning one next month! You've got 3 cuties on your hands! Glad I stopped by.

rreynol3 said...

We need to create a drug to keep them the way we want forever. But you know what? God is going to use your children in mighty mighty mighty mighty ways. I love your kids so much, and you know I have such a hard time seeing them grow up. I need my little baby Jo Jo back. :-( And now Micah is a boy, and Ella is growing way too fast. God must have some reason to put us through this bearable "torture" for his awesome plan. Your kids are already so amazing, and I can't wait to see how much more amazing they'll be.

Alexandra Rose said...

Adorable. I'm having a hard time with the fact that my daughter is growing up, she's almost 2. (ALMOST TWO???!!!) I still refer to her as a baby, or as me having a baby. But she's not. But in my head she is. It's hard, and I forget what she used to be like, and I see photos and think, were you really like that? It's hard.
Visiting from the hop.

Tania said...

I'm going through the same crisis. My youngest is almost 2 1/2 and I cry the instant I look at any of my 3 boys when they were babies. I still too really feel like I want more kids but have to totally leave it up to God how that should happen. Trust me you are completely normal. :)

(amy) said...

Too sweet! I think any mom would get this. I don't think it gets any easier over time either.

At my daughters 4th birthday my father in law told her "next year you will be 5!" and I shrieked "NO SHE WON'T!" she's not big enough to be FIVE! that's so old! Thank goodness I have a 11 more months to accept the idea.