The health of those I love.
I never think about how blessed we are to be so perfect.
Yes, we have our bumps, bruises, and runny noses. But generally speaking, we are so healthy.
My kid's don't have any allergies (praise GOD), they don't have any disabilities (other than Josiah's very minor speech delay…which is also greatly improving…), they don't ever need or want for anything, and they are covered by medical insurance if there ever is a problem.
I never think about my blessings until they seem to have faded.
This weekend Ella became really ill with a horrific stomach virus.
On any other normal baby of her age (9 months) this wouldn't have been such a problem. But because Ella is so small she became severely dehydrated before I even knew what hit her.
She had been vomiting and had diarrhea for over 24 hours, but seemed to be able to keep fluid in (as far as I could tell). Because of her diarrhea I wasn't able to tell the difference between a "wet" diaper and a dirty one. I have had three children. I thought I was a pro by this point. How wrong I was!
Friday morning came and Ella was inconsolable. I could not get her to take a bottle, I could not get her to stop crying, she couldn't sit up on her own, and the worst of it; she had no tears when she cried.
I knew she was dehydrated and rushed her to Children's Hospital where they tried to get an IV in her. But due to her severe dehydration, were unable to do so.
Mother of the Year.
I was in tears, feeling as thought it was my fault. I let my baby get this bad. I didn't even recognize her severe state. The nurses were wonderfully supportive, assuring me it wasn't my fault. But when they couldn't get an IV in her after 5 sticks (and one in her head), because her blood was as thick as molasses; I wasn't feeling like a great mom.
They gave her some Zofran to cease the vomit and settle her stomach. She was miserable. She wouldn't stop crying, she was losing energy. When they stuck her in the head to find a vein that might take an IV she didn't even flinch. She was spent and I broke down.
It it torture to see my babies sick. Especially when I feel it's my fault.
Ella is slowly improving and is finally starting to have some wet diapers. Praise God!
Yay for Pedialyte!
It has made me so aware of how blessed I am to have consistently healthy children. I know some parents aren't as blessed. Even is my weakness God is supreme. I don't know how I would get through stressful moments without my faith.
5 comments:
Go easy on yourself sweet Mama! : ) My oldest had to be admitted twice for dehydration. I am so glad your baby girl is better. It is scary, isn't it?!
I just about cried my way through this post :( I can't imagine how scary that was!!! BUT, you are a great mom and you definitely need to go easy on yourself! She's getting better and that's all that matters :)
The song you have on the background is perfect, "Break my heart..." Because I want to cry looking at Ella with that sad bandaid. Praise God she's finally getting better. You're such a good mom, Beth. Love you!
Glad she's feeling better! So scary. Don't ever doub your great momma skills!
How horribly scary!!! So glad she is doing better.
It took me having a baby to know what is feels like when someone else talks about their sick child. It used to mean nothing to me and now my heart breaks for every momma of a sick kiddo! It is horrible!
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