The other day you came down the stairs, looking a little sheepish. You asked me where my "bathroom scrubber brush" was. I asked why you needed it, you fought with all you had to hold back tears when you muttered out "I did something naughty". This phrase is rare for you to say. You see, you are just a good boy. Like, you are the stuff mommies and daddies dream of.
You are obedient, compliant, mellow, handsome, compassionate, kind, and grace filled. You have a tender spirit that allows you to see beyond the "right now". You feel sad when your friends are hurt, you already know what worry feels like when Micah is in the hospital. You are just filled with compassion for others.
Back to the story. I asked you what you had done. You couldn't even get it out. Tears were spilling down your face. You were trying to fight it, but you couldn't. You just kept on crying. "Out with it Jo" I said. You finally were able to tell me that you had colored on the toilet seat. And while I did my best not to laugh, we headed upstairs to survey the damage. You had drawn one perfect line around the inside of the toilet seat with a bath crayon. We tried to get it off with vinegar, didn't work. You were devastated, eyes still filled with tears. We finally scrubbed it off with the big guns (bleach) and then you gave me a hug and said how sorry you were. Over and over you said it.
Then with you in my arms I grabbed you and looked you in the eye. "Josiah, you know what makes you so different than other kids your age? It's your heart. You are so young and you already know the difference between good and bad. Most kids don't have this yet. This is why you feel so bad right now. Jesus has given you a heart that knows what is right and then feels bad when something is bad. Jo, this is a true gift from Jesus. He gave you a heart that is so full of love. You are so good. You are such a good boy, and you feel terrible when you do bad. This is what makes you amazing. Lets remember to listen to Jesus when he tells us not to do something."
This is you. You are amazing at 5 years old. I can't even begin to imagine what things Jesus is going to put on your heart when you are a man. The truth is, you are quite and you will probably struggle to be bold. When you find that boldness, the world had better watch out! You will be changing lives. You will show the love of Jesus like not other man on this earth. You will have a heart so full of compassion that I can easily seeing you giving me a hug goodbye to go and serve the Lord in Ethiopia. "Goodbye Mom. I will send you photos of the those that I'm sharing the good news with."
That's you. And while you may be a bit sensitive now. One day….one day, you will change this world.
I am so proud to be your mommy. And I can not wait to see the man of God that you will become.